Quirky Contemplations: Probability Insurance

QC Koan: Would you purchase a life insurance policy from someone who solicited at your doorway, claiming to be a messenger from God?

And now:
Probability Insurance

You can buy all kinds of insurance: health, dental, life, nursing home care, death (cryogenics), afterlife (religious donations), disability, homeowners, professional liability, and travelers insurance.  I think you can even insure your good looks.  But there are no absolute guarantees in life, none that I can guarantee anyway.  And there’s no insurance for loss of hair, loss of shopping lists, loss of time, loss of pet theories, loss of regularity, loss of recognition, loss of quarantined quantum particles, and loss of the big game.  Please don’t let any of that stop you from purchasing the insurance policy of your desire.  Just follow the four easy steps outlined somewhere below, and you’ll be heading in the general direction of probability insurance heaven .

Probability Policies:
Since nothing is absolutely guaranteed in life, the next best thing is to ensure that things will probably be all right in the long run.  That’s where probability insurance comes in.  If sent sufficient funds, I will issue probability insurance for a specific situation, event, or life issue.  Insured situations include falling in or out of love successfully; having or not having perfect children; lateral,  bilateral, or vertical motion; holding on or letting go…  Keep in mind that outcomes can only be measured over the course of time.   Here’s how a policy will begin: I will probably insure the recipient as follows: any insured situation or event will probably have a Universe appropriate outcome.*  (Please note definitions and terms at the bottom of page.)  The details, while no doubt relevant to you, are not particularly relevant to this policy.  But we will go ahead and list them anyway, so that you feel better about paying me.

Which brings me to the Zen monk Ryokan, who is somewhat famous for the following poem: on rainy days/ the monk Ryokan/ feels sorry for himself.  He apparently lived in a leaky shack and did not enjoy the wet-robe days.  I wasn’t there, so I can’t tell you if Ryokan was numb, resigned, genuinely angry with the universe, or constantly on the rebound.  Maybe he practiced Zen, or maybe just felt sorry for himself.  Luckily, Ryokan didn’t live in a rain forest, and had lots of good days, as is evidenced by the following exert from a poem:

I contemplate the moon through the night,
As the stream settles, and white dew descends.
Which traveler will bask in the moonlight longest?
Whose home will drink up the most moonbeams?

I wonder if Ryokan would have purchased probability insurance.  He could’ve paid me with a poem.  Maybe he did.  That’s probably what happened.  It’s probably up to you to fill in the details of the transaction.

*A Universe appropriate outcome is impossible to define without Universal knowledge.  However, under the terms of this agreement, any disputes may be challenged in Afterlife Court under the following conditions: 1) Afterlife Court exists; and 2) Afterlife Court chooses to hear the challenge.  There is no guarantee that Afterlife Court will act to reverse or correct challenges that are reviewed.  Since there is probably no money in the afterlife, the best you can hope for in a successful challenge are karma credits.

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