Note: Two practices may have led to my intuitive discovery of the eye to eye technique described in this essay. The first was “eyes behind the head,” which was an advanced exercise in karate. The idea was to feel your eyes behind your head to increase peripheral vision, increase intuition, and to decrease “stick-mind.” The second was a practice of seeing more than one input simultaneously (for example: as many trees as I could hold in consciousness), which I extrapolated from something I read in Castaneda.
Here’s the pot-boiler.
I did smoke marijuana once. Unlike some politicians, I inhaled. This highly significant event occurred during my fifth year at college. My brother John came up to visit, and he brought with him what he considered to be top grade pot. The best. John and I decided to smoke with a young woman I had been dating, named Betty, in her apartment. Betty and I weren’t really connecting, and it seemed unlikely that our relationship would become genuinely romantic.
John warned me that not everyone got high the first time. Since I knew this might be my only time, I was determined to have the experience. I smoked much more than both John and Betty, and they were pretty sh*t-faced. Betty was so high she barely avoided pissing her pants while laughing. While quite high, I was in no danger of pissing my pants. I became highly focused. In an effort to prove how lucid I had become, I offered to perform a physical exercise of their choosing. They were certain I would not be able to spin, so I spun. This split their sides with laughter and frightened them at the same time. So I decided to enjoy their company while contemplating how best to make use of the lucid state I was in.
The answer came to me. I had the intuition that if I gazed into Betty’s eyes I could discover the truth about how she felt about me. We really enjoyed each other’s company, and had been intimate short of intercourse. I lavished attention on her. But she had suggested that becoming lovers was not in our future. Perhaps we could just be friends.
I knew that if I used both my eyes to focus simultaneously on both Betty’s eyes, I could encourage Betty to speak the truth about how she was honestly feeling about our relationship. Now, normally when we look at a person’s face we look at a single point. Our eyes move quickly in a pattern that our brain interprets. The effect of focusing both my eyes on both her eyes was extraordinary. She began talking immediately.
“Oh my goodness, there’s a face on top of your face!”
To converse with her and maintain my focus was difficult, but I was able to manage. “A different face than my own?”
“Yes, yes, it’s still there!”
“Who is it?”
“I don’t know.” Then she paused, not breaking my gaze. “I love you so much. You just don’t know, I love you so much!” She had never told me that she loved me before. I wanted to pursue it.
“Are you saying you love me, or the face on top of my face?”
“Both, I love you both. You just don’t know how important you are to me.”
“Is the second face a face from the past, a past life perhaps?”
“Yes, you were so important to me. I can’t tell you how much I love you.”
I could feel my focus fading, and knew I had time for only a few more questions. “Was I your father, or was I your lover?”
“I don’t know.”
“Do you love the face from the past or me in the present?”
“You are the same person, I love you!” I felt the spell break. “The face is gone now.”
“Who do you think it was?”
She began to cry. “I don’t know. It was you. Don’t you know that it was you? How can I possibly tell you how much I love you?”
She seemed emotionally labile, and I decided it might be best to let the experience go. She excused herself to go to the bathroom, and when she returned we joked and conversed as if nothing had happened. On the way back to my dorm room my brother wanted to know if Betty and I had dated. I told him that we had. He said: “That was really something back there. She really likes you a lot.” He didn’t realize that, on the deepest possible level, she was saying goodbye. I didn’t tell him.
This story was adapted from Gathering My Life into Feathers, available on this website.
Postscript II: I often use this technique when walking amongst trees, viewing a number of trees simultaneously. It feels personal, and the view expands. Eye to eye contact can be used spiritually and shamanically. For example, using shamanic mind one can “clothe” themselves in a power animal and project that animal from the eyes. This can be useful in projecting intention into a situation. When I was younger, my tendency was to project energy using hard power. As I’ve gotten older, I prefer soft power (see my blog on Manifesting Hard and Soft Power).